An Over-the-Top-Worrier and Her Newest Adventure

I am an Over-the-Top-Worrier (just ask my husband). I get completely stressed out over, well, everything. I question everything big - Did I pick the right degree? Should we have bought a second car? What am I going to make for dinner (food is a big deal in the Stanley home)? - and small - Do my friends think I hate them because I'm so busy and don't have time to see them (or use commas)? Did I paint my toes the right color? Should I watch an episode of Parenthood or Revenge? Yes, I'm ridiculous and crazy (just ask my husband). The worst part is that I haven't been able to stop it. I have absolutely zero control over my stress levels or what stresses me out in the first place, and it hits me so suddenly that I'm unaware of it until I realize I'm having trouble breathing. Okay, I might make it sound a little extreme (Daryn might object), but regardless, I am an Over-the-Top-Worrier.

The only way I am able to actually function and do something is by doing it as spontaneously as possible.

For example:

We bought a puppy. This is my little Sheldon Cooper. My brother's response to his name, "You named your dog after a character from the Big Bang Theory?" Yes, yes I did. Now, this event wasn't as spontaneous as others. We'd been thinking about a puppy for a couple weeks, but our choice of Sheldon was pretty spontaneous. I talked to the owner at 10:00PM Friday night, and we woke up the following morning at 7:00AM and drove from Provo to Logan to pick him up just so I could get back for work by 1:00PM. Not only that but Daryn suggested going to Walmart to get stuff for him the night before at around, oh, midnight (which is a big deal seeing as how our bedtime is roughly 10:30PM), which we did. 

My decision to go to hair school was semi-spontaneous. I'd considered the idea, but after my best friend decided to, I jumped on that bandwagon pretty quickly.

I almost went to China to teach English, which was so spontaneous I had to expedite my passport. 

I changed my major. One day I'm all set to go into the Education program at UVU, and after a 20 minute phone call with my mother I'm meeting with my counselor to become just a plain old English major (don't let my word choice fool you - there's nothing plain about it). 

Luckily none of my spontaneous ventures has turned out badly - knock on wood - and I have every hope that my newest one will create some amazing opportunities and life experiences that I so desperately need. 

Sunday night I couldn't sleep. Can you guess why? I was worrying. I was worrying about what the heck I was going to do with my life (career-wise). When I changed my major I was very confident that being just a plain old English graduate would not be a problem. I argued my case with several individuals whose response to my spontaneity was, "What are you going to do now?" What the heck do you mean, what am I going to do? I'm going to get any darn job I want, thank you very much. Do you even know the kind of skills an English major harbors? We can analyze the crap out of anything - literature is not our limit - we know the ins-and-outs of persuasive arguments, we're creative, thinkers, doers, go-getters, and we can read. A lot. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Unfortunately, my natural worry-instinct kicked in, and here I was, late Sunday night, worrying.

Occasionally, I don't let my worry get me down, so Monday morning I decided I was going to do something about it. I was going to figure out what my life calling was (a little dramatic?). I'd been searching for an internship for a couple months without much success. I was hoping to work as an assistant to a friend of mine in graphic design (which will probably still be a side gig - yay!), but I needed something now. With my graduation date steadily approaching (December 2014 is not that far away), I realized I needed some work experience stat, because there's no way I'm going to spend the rest of my life cutting hair (4 1/2 years is more than enough for me, thank you). After searching the UVU Internship board for the hundredth time, I came across a post title:

Social Media Specialist

I'd seen the title multiple times before, but I hadn't felt qualified enough to apply. This post, however, spoke directly to me:

This position will be highly dynamic and has evolved into several areas of our company. From Facebook Advertising campaigns, to engagement building, to viral marketing, you will truly see it all. You will be a valued member of the team that contributes to overall strategy for clients as well as Lava Surf.

At Lava Surf we work hard but don't take ourselves too seriously; we also listen to and encourage your input and insights. In the office we listen to music, watch the occasional Youtube video, and check on our Facebook updates. And you know what the best part of our office is? The snack room, which you will have unlimited access to. We will also occasionally bring in lunch.

Lastly, at the end of the internship our CEO will write you a wicked-awesome letter of recommendation that will knock the socks off of a future, prospective employer or a grad school admissions counselor. So whether you have graduate school aspirations or want to land a top-notch job after school, with a unique skill set that sets you apart, we can help you out with that

Skills Acquired Through Internship
1. How to build out an effective social media strategy
2. Building online followings (getting more Facebook followers etc.)
3. How to create engaging updates on Facebook to drive traffic
4. Lead generation through social media
5. Building case studies & research on social media
6. Effective ad spend techniques on Facebook’s ad platform

Does that not sound like the perfect job for me?! I spend almost every free second checking my Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest. I LOVE social media, and I LOVE being creative. Not only that, but I'm freaking good at it (just ask my mom).

So before my worry could get to me, I emailed my resume. Within a couple hours I received a response, set up an interview for the following morning, received an answer within 24 hours, and start my newest adventure a week from Tuesday.

Oh. My. Gosh. I. Am. So. Excited.

Natural Beauty Challenge

The other day I read a post with the title something along the lines of "Celebrities Without Makeup" and "Unrecognizable". I was interested to see just how "unrecognizable" these icons are in their natural skin and was a little surprised to find that they look just like everyone else. When I later searched Google for the article again, I was blown away by how many different posts there were on this one topic. The posts range from attempts at humiliation to praise for showing the world their natural beauty. This really got me thinking; What kind of beauty do I try to show "the world"?

For sake of clarification and minimalism, I'm going to say that there are two types of beauty in this world (although I believe there are hundreds). There is natural beauty and alteration beauty.

Natural beauty is raw. It is the body without makeup, piercings, tattoos, expensive clothes, or perfectly styled hair. It's the way you look when you wake up in the morning. Your skin is fresh and clean and free. It can breathe in the air around it. You can rub the sleep from your eyes without a second thought - no makeup to smudge. Natural beauty is you. The way God created you.

Alteration beauty is an attempt to change your natural beauty. It ranges from drastic changes to enhancing. Drastic changes are things like plastic surgery, liposuction, anything that changes your physical appearance in such a way that it becomes unrecognizable. An example of enhancing would be contouring or using makeup to promote your natural beauty.

Let me be up front about this: I do not believe that one type of beauty is better than the other, and I do not judge a person by their personal choices in appearance.

So, back to my question: What type of beauty do I try to show "the world"?

Earlier today I received an unexpected package. It was flowers from my husband as an early Valentine's Day gift. I was so excited about them that I wanted to send him a picture of me with them as a thank you. As I grabbed my phone, I stopped. I hadn't done my hair or makeup yet. Regardless of the fact that my husband has seen me in all sorts of states (makeup, no makeup, smudged makeup, three day old hair, etc.), I couldn't help but think that the picture wouldn't look as good if I didn't fix myself up first. Long story short, I snapped the picture right then, wasn't completely thrilled about it, and sent it on it's way.

I realized that just like a lot of women in today's world I try to alter my beauty, and sometimes I wish I could make drastic changes rather than attempting to enhance what I already have (skinnier ankles, shorter toes, you know, weird stuff like that). This realization gave me an idea: A Natural Beauty Challenge.

There are 2 parts to the challenge:

1. Pick one thing you do to try to alter your beauty (i.e., makeup, clothing, accessories) and either completely eliminate or simply reduce your use of that "thing" for 2 weeks

2. Promote your natural beauty by picking one thing you like about yourself everyday and either tell it to yourself or post about it publicly

My Challenge:

1. I'm going to reduce the amount of makeup I wear. I'm only going to put on eyeliner and mascara. By the end of the day I feel like my skin is gasping for breath, so I feel like letting my natural skin be free from makeup for 2 weeks will do it some good.

2. I have over 100,000,000 freckles on my entire body, and I love them - especially the ones on my face.

I'm really excited about this challenge, and I hope some of you decide to try it out! Let's share our natural beauty and take one step closer to feeling good in our own skin.

My Love Story

WARNING: Mushy Love Story. If you are anti-love or don't like a good tale, scroll on you ninny.

Can I tell you a story? I pinky promise it won't be boring. This story is the best story in the whole world. It's a love story. Can I? Please?

I'm a pretty complicated person. I don't like making decisions, I hate going out and socializing, and I worry way too much about what other people think of me. So when I met Daryn Stanley, I didn't really expect it to go anywhere.

Boy, was I wrong. 

Carol Sorenson is probably one of my favorite people on this planet. She's a little old lady whom I met while working at a salon. Carol had a weekly appointment to get her hair washed and set by my boss, and since I was rarely busy with my own clients, I would chat with her or her daughter, LeeAnne. After knowing Carol for about a year, she started to tell me about her grandson. He was serving an LDS mission in San Diego and I probably should meet him when he gets home. Now, I'd been set up plenty of times before, which hadn't gone down so well, so I wasn't all that interested in doing it again; however, all Carol ever did was tell me about him... until I got to work on Friday April 6, 2012 (yes, I'm that much of a wierdo that I remember the exact day). My boss informed me that Carol's grandson was bringing her in for her appointment today and I was to cut his hair. Oh joy. I distinctly remember what I was wearing that day - and it wasn't good. My appearance didn't bother me too much, however, because I figured this wasn't going to go anywhere anyways. He was going to be short. And unattractive. And probably awkward.

Boy, was I wrong.

In walks a towering 6' 5" (ish) hunk of a guy. And I start freaking out inside. He's gorgeous! Oh no, what if I screw up his hair? He's so tall! What the heck was I thinking when I got dressed this morning?! Just breathe. 

The haircut went well, as did the conversation regardless of the fact that the guy had only been home from his mission for about three weeks! I couldn't help but notice cute little Carol watching us from the back of the salon. Half an hour later and he was gone. So what did I do? I texted the following to my sister: "I'm in love".

Little did I know how much I really was.

Ben & Jerry's, board-games with my family, hotdogs and s'mores, an unexpected kiss (by me), and a volleyball game later and I had a boyfriend.

Fast forward exactly one year, one month, and 7 months later and I had a fiance. (see proposal here)

Three-ish months after that and I now have a husband. The best husband. My Daryn. He's my other half, and he's absolutely 110% perfect for me. I'm one lucky girl.

Welcome!

Blogging is an interesting hobby/job/past-time/or whatever label you want to put on it. I've started several blogs, most of which never lasted longer than a couple months. For the last week or so, I've found myself with that urge again. The urge to blog. But the same problem kept holding me back: what to blog about. There are so many different types of blogs out there: fitness, health, diy, cooking, fashion, person, etc. I browsed multiple articles on blogging trying to figure out what I would blog about. Nothing seemed to help, so I decided to just get started and see what happened. One article had said something about finding my niche, my passion. I have a big problem with that right now. I'm a junior in college who recently changed my major from English Education to just plain English (I can tell you more about that later) and have suddenly found myself in a slump, because I can't figure out what I want to do. What I want to be. What my passion is. I've battled with this my entire life. I used to draw, I used to play piano, I used to take pictures. I used to do a lot of things, and I love them all... for a time. And sometimes I start loving them again, so I decide this is what my passion is... for a time. Blogging about my passion was going to be a problem, I realized, because I don't have one. And then I realized something better. Sure, I don't have one passion, but, the thing is, I have a lot of passions, so why not blog about them all? Why not create a blog that covers several different topics that I personally have a passion for?

And that's how I established Pearls.

The name came to me pretty quickly. I had first decided "To Be", drawing from our beloved Shakespeare (he's definitely a passion), when suddenly the Bible passage found in Matthew 7:6 popped into my head:

Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast

ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them

under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

This verse, in application to myself, basically says that our talents and our passions are special, no matter what anyone else thinks. And that's when I realized the root of my problem; it wasn't that I felt I lacked passions, it was that I lacked the confidence to show the world my talents, and as I draw closer to graduation (December 2014 is coming up fast!), I feel the need to develop my talents and find the confidence necessary to land myself a dream job (more about that later as well). I have two goals I want to accomplish via Pearls: 1) develop my own confidence 2) develop just one person's confidence to trust in their own abilities and make their life better.

So, welcome to Pearls: a blog about passions and talents that should not be discarded but should be developed and utilized.